The world's biggest brand? Why,

God of course. Oh blasphemy.

A brand isn't only something you can buy with money. In fact, a brand cannot be purchased with money at all. Remember, a brand isn't a product on a shelf, but rather, the story the mind recounts when receiving stimuli about the product. It's merely a bookmark to a tale that grows organically.

Knowing this, what, then, would represent the largest brain-bookmark on the planet?

The one that millions upon millions of people worship daily, rule in the name of, fear, marry under, devote their lives to, kill for, receive comfort from, make sacrifices for, and pray to for assumption on their death beds.

Now you're getting the picture. (It's arguable that Family ranks above God, but I'd respond by asking you, "By what do most cultures swear oaths in a court of law?" — legal courts being the one theater sanctioned to decide between life and death.)

Certainly, there are as many ideas of "God" as there are brains. The great philosophers have made history, livings, and enemies debating its meaning. Tribes deep in the Amazon, who wouldn't know Marlboro from margarine, may be among its most loyal consumers. Even people who don't believe in God at least exhibit a strong opinion. And think, just one written perspective on this marque, The Bible, is the highest-selling book in history.

What a brand.

Now, this approach to branding may not be popular with many, but it should be heeded if you're in the industry — because share of wallet ain't what you're after if you're committed to building a dominant brand (or even a good one). It's mindshare you seek, because everything within the gray soup of the human brain competes for one of these hallowed, rare bookmarks. Like Charlie in Wonka, everyone wants a ticket to the Promised Land, but a mere sliver of a fraction actually get their hands on one. (And even when some do, they break the rules the moment they get inside.)

This is what we're up against for brainding. I know a lot of people treat some brands like they may actually be God (i.e., NASCAR fans), but I'm not appealing to Tide with Bleach when a loved one falls ill. Sounds stupid, huh. But if you really think about it, bookmarks for commodities a million light years outside of Maslow's Hierarchy — say, Miracle Whip — have a snowball's chance in Hellmann's of grabbing the ever-elusive brain bookmark.

Kinda puts things in perspective now don't it.

PROVOCATIVE TANGENT ALERT: A favorite of my many oddball branding conjectures is that one religion above all others has unwittingly shed light on, and benefited greatly from, the fundamentals of branding — because ultimately, those fundamentals are just those of the human brain anyway (remember, the word is "fundamental" after all).

Missionaries have spread its simple story and logo for generations, and with great success mind you. Its exposure frequency is high, and for the most part, its consistency is unrivaled.

Christianity — with one man (a father and a holy spirit), 10 commandments, 12 apostles, and a simple-for-anyone-to-copy logo, the cross — is one of the most amazing brand parallels I can conjure from the last two millennia.

Think about it: nothing difficult to remember; it promises huge benefits; it's all-inclusive; its mystery disallows it from being fully consumed; its claims are near-impossible to disprove; and most of all, its only cost (in the scheme of my four Brand Currencies) is Time. And heck, that's even at your own discretion.

Boil it down to the cross — a symbol any child can replicate perfectly, and which tells the entire story of arguably the most powerful social dynamic in history with two perpendicular lines.

Amazing.